Perhaps the best way to start the story of the suite 907 hazings is by stating everything from here forth is a joke. Please do not call the police... again.
Well it was the middle of the semester when we learned that one of our room mates was getting a new room mate Eric, a kid who graduated early from high school. Well being good freshmen, we knew that we had to welcome him, the old fashioned college way... hazing.
Now maybe, just maybe this was not the best idea but he had a coat that Alex took a liking to, and inevitably took.
Well just taking his jacket was not enough, and when he tried to leave we let him get acquainted with the door. Since he tried to flee we decided to coax him into staying with a love tap.
Around this time Daniel arrived, he beat the bathroom rules into Eric... the hilarious way.
Well we thought that Eric was now one of us, and told him he could chill in the hall. Well in his infinite freshmen wisdom Eric decided to fight back. It would seem that in his inebriated state that Eric was no challenge for a monitor to the head. In self defence Camille ended Eric's rampage, and we assisted to subdue him.
Now what would you do with a thouroughly subdued freshmen? I can tell you what we did, and it was probably not our best choice, let him air out until he apologizes for his insubordination. Well it would seem that boots improperly tied do not sustain much weight, and eric happily found the ground. Lucky for Eric an inquisitive college kid found him, and logically everything would turn out all right.
This is the point where our joke should have ended... a random picture story on the internet. But what do you do with photographic evidence as our international students would tell you? Our friend posted the pictures above on the WolfWeb and here our tale took a turn for the worst. Now I'm not saying that I'm smarter than everyone at ECU but someone over there is a dumbass. Some administrator at ECU came across our pictures and called campus safety because we had killed someone. Well what would be the logical thing for safety to do? Find the body? No it was to find Amen, the kid who posted the picture and take him to student conduct. Which inevitably started the infamous "Free Amen" movement.
In the end we got off because of some freedom of speech jazz. So what would be the logical conclusion to this saga? To send the person at ECU assurance Eric is fine!
