As we done say on me ship:
Ma n'atu sole
Cchiu' bello, oi ne
'O sole mio
sta 'nfronte a te!
'O sole, 'o sole mio
sta 'nfronte a te,
sta 'nfronte a te!

Now that we all bae on tha same page how bouts a favor for tha matey Joe.

Where we've done sailed.
Thar Jack o' members has done assembled a deck full 'o appointments ta thar university stand'n committees. However we done bae aware thar bae vacancies in some o' these bateaus. We bae look'n ta fill them with mateys we believe have a vested interest in tha operation o' these committees. Once we done have a complete list we'll open up applications ta tha mateys about port.
Thar Chancellor's Liaison meet'ns done have covered:
-stuff
Thar President's (that bae mae!) roundtable has done also been a focus group for:
-
Speech's I done had tha honor ta make have included but nay bae limited to:
- All me cherished time with ye mateys
- Every last one o' tha orientation sessions (who Lives in a pineapple under tha sea?! Har har, ye had ta bae there.)
- Honor's Baccalaureate
- Legacy Luncheon
- Convocation
- A critically acclaimed introduction ta tha bonnie lass Naomi Tatu
- Faculty Senate
- Take Back the Night

Now three, mateys.. trios, tres, set... ye know on one hand if ye've lost two o' ye fingers. Call ins ta protest tha Budget Reconciliation that bae try'n ta take tha coin's from tha Financial Aid Coffer! And thank all ye mateys who done come out, tha sign in list has up ta nine o' ye mateys scrib'ns on it, any less and we'd bae tak'n a cat o' nine tails ta ye backs!

Thar barnacle-bottomed Fancy lads and lasses o' tha ASG done include me self and we've done had quite a few mates involved with them. Who ye ask.. Mateys… I done just said fancy pants lads and lasses. But now I'll done take tha time ta thank Lassy Betsy for all tha help she done bae put'n forth. What does ASG have their pantaloons in a knot about?
- Mak'n textbooks affordable (done we see a pattern?)
- How tha Tuition/Fee process proceeds across tha system
- What done makes an affective SG
- Service NC/Raleigh
- etc. For more information please done send a magic missive ta Will Quick, Laura de Castro, Bobby Mills as they done now bae executives for tha ASG.

As ye know tha Red Fleet o' Terror has done sailed this year and thar landlubbers in tha port done love tha boat'n service. And ye know transportation has done said they can add us ta their contract in a sence, in essense line up tha boats for us on game days, but nay advertise or provide tha doubloons. So on this here Friday morn' at 9' I'll done finally bae meet'n with Matey Fowler!

I've nay an idea how many online ticket fiascles we done had pass through our hands, but none tha less we advertised for it… and in tha end I thinks we can stand proudly on tha poop deck and say what we've done earned bae good. So whats about tha tailgat'n issues? Kegs o' Grog? Pass-outs!? Hornswogglin' Fishmongers run'n amuck? Nay not a day on me boat, what can bae seen every game at our games o' football on tha battlefield o' Carter-finley, and mayhaps this culture done have a chang'n in tha wind.

We also done ran a button program so many o' ye done loathed with all tha spite ye little bones could produce. So when I done say we had many, many a lad and lass come in and say "So this where ye bae! I'd no clue, and thank ye very much" I done get ta say phewyonyou.

We done ran a covert attack on tha port o' UNC-Ch. If ye nay were invited know we done had a splendid time, met tha law enforcement officers there and learned tha liberal campus bae more communist than we done first thought.

For tha time be'n I've upped tha GPA requirements o' me branch ta 2.25. Why? I done feel if ye bae struggl'n with a 2.0 ye' bae need'n ta spend ye time with ye noes in a book and not galavant'n abouts!

I done bae tha co-chair o' tha tuition meet'ns (interst'n facts me and tha fancy pants at UNC-Ch twer tha only mateys ta vote nay ta tha increases). With that me and me first mate by election done had tha meet'ns early in tha morn with tha Chancellor and Admiral Stafford ta discuss tha fees and tuition. Also was then given tha chance ta make tha minority report ta tha board o' trustees and ta tha open forum.

Jack o' staves Birdsell done put forth a mighty blood drive in our name as part o' our service project. If ye ever wants ta play a mean joke on a lassy that bae tak'n ye blood when they done say "Do'na look at tha blood…" Do just that and pretend ta pass out. I done made that lassy scream! Har!

We done ran a "thank ye mateys!" lett'r writ'n campaign ta say thank ye ta our representitves that done support students in North Carolina. Much ta me chagrin we did nay take tha victory in that thar contest, but we done put forth our effort.

Lassy Danielle Richardson done compiled and led tha Nightwalk. Many have done said that that bae an easy small task but from talk'n with tha lassy it took many an hour and we owe her a thanks for her toils.

And lastly I've done vetoed two pieces o' ye legislation and still stand by me opinions. Tha second veto I done collected letters from both judges and lawyers o' why ye done crafted poor legislation. I'm glad ye chose ta listen ta what I and they done had ta say by nay give'n me a voice on tha matter. Bitter? Ye were lucky I nay had me captain's daughter.

So now as ye all fall ta sleep in tha comfy chairs o this big ol' fancy room I will continue on. As matey Joe over here blinks his eyes back ta conciousness I know what bae on tha tip o' his tongue… Silver tongue we will call ye! What bae we do'n this semester?

Lets start with tha small things! Ants, mice, amoebas, and nay forget! small rocks. I'll leave it at that Joe, and bid ye a fair eve, small rocks.

Nay wait! Actual things!

We done talked with Matey Alan at Melvin's and done gotten permission ta use his facilities, or may haps tha bowl'n alley's park'n lot (Anything else we could constructively use that space for?) for tha sight o' mission Mardi Gras. We done bae move'n ahead on confirm'n bands.

Tha Government Relations under matey DeVan bae putt'n on a voter registration in March, and done has quite some plans ta makes it a good event!

Jack o' Members bae in contact with Nicole Lawrence ta find who done bae miss'n on what stand'n committees. We'll done send out a complete list when we've all tha positions ta ye.

WSI bae look'n ta putt'n on tha gam'n event on tha silver screen below us ta raise funds. We also bae look'n ta make some sort o' commemorative shirt for our basketball team ta raise funds for WSI.

I've done gotten permission ta put forth tha pirate story writ'n contest. I see a head peak up! Har yes indeed. And we bae about ta start tha advertis'n ta boot!

Matey Bobby done bae do'n quite a large bit o' work'n on tha ACC Big 4 Canned Food Drive and is rock'n that boat harder than me long nines could! If ye would likes ta see me dressed ta tha T' in me finest pirate garb (how could ye possibly wish ta miss that) come ta tha February 5th game ta donate ye cans!

We bae goin' ta tha retirement communities ta collect old stories and jokes from our alumni, so I done hopes ye will join me in this excursion. With that we also hopes ta bae mak'n founders day a bit larger. And on tops o' that a cherry dipped in rum!

How abouts ye thinks back ta when ye was a wee lad or lass and ye done had ye "field days." Remember?! Aye, that's we bae putt'n on with IRC ta brings that mateys out in tha spring.

What else may we do? I've not a clue, or if I done do I've at tha moment forgot of it. Will ye ever receive a report o' this grand stature again? Mayhaps if Silver Tongue Joe asks, but on nay other ocassion!

-The Pirate Captain (loves you, and yer kin!)