Ahoy Mateys and Scrogs alike!

As ye all bae quite aware thar done been two major meet’ns that have done transpired since we done last met.  First bae tha board o’ Trustees where tha Judicial board jump’n ship, or lack o’ spring in thar legs, community service around tha campus as well as tha issues surrounding tha proposed tailgating rules twere discussed.  Then thar bae tha ACC Leadership retreat.  Thar we done had clambakes where we done entertained tha idear’s o’ Diversity, Athletic stereotypes as well as public relations deal’n with ye student governments.  And ye ask how was ye captain received?  Tha lads and lasses done bae sad I’d not dressed tha part but twere a wonderful lot ta meets!  Me be cogitate’n and I’ve done concluded all tha other captains at thar respective universities bae just as crazy as I.  Relevant? No but a good dab o’ information for ye.

 As an end to our time done draws nigh what does I done have coursed out?  I will done find tha red terror ta bae a permanent addition ta our campus.  Mission Mardi Gras will bae put on in conjunction with tha compassion in action in tha month o’ Aphrodite.  We will done bae putt’n on tha field day with tha IRC near’ tha warmer weather o’ tha year.  I twould likes ta see a resolution ta tha Judicial situation and we dones continue ta meets in tha morn o’ tyr.  We done haves a mighty registration o’ vot’n goin’ on after tha break. We also will done meets with tha Alumni.  Last, but nay least, I done bae ensur’n that everythin’ bae in order for tha next President o’ tha student boDy.

So now what o’ tha new Student Body President and Student Government in tha next year, and for that matter what of tha new impeachment jazz?  Well indulge mae and lets me spend some time on me thoughts.  When I done entered this position I done thoughts we twere supposed ta works tagether that when me programs needed deckhands ye twere happy ta helps out.  I done bae wrong and that bae fine.  But there bae problems that done lie below tha surface that done needs ta bae addressed if any o’ ye wants ta see anythin’ productive come out o’ student government or ta see tha barnacle encrusted image improv’n.  I’m not talk’n about keelhaul’n student government yet.  I done thinks step one bae ta ask how is what we do’n help’n anyone.  Have we done gathered landlubber’s opinions and logical solutions ta problems in tha port?  And, are we done help’n our mateys on this here crew out?  As I’ve done said before thar bae a group o senators that done does a good job at this.  But then thar bae scrogs that many a time watched me over look somethi’n and done said noth’n when it twas happen’n.  And once tha time for mae ta do anythin’ has done passed they come ta mae ta mocks me.  What purpose does this course o’ action serve except ta try ta see someone fail.  So if ye done feel this ta bae acceptable I done askes ye how that helps tha students we done supposed ta serve.  This here impeachment ruckus done serves no point cept ta waste more time.  How much water da tha allegations in tha impeachment hold?  Well mateys I’ve done seen sunken Spanish galleons more stable than this.  I’m sure that shortly we’ll bae forced ta revisit this issue and I can done sinks tha allegations for ye.  Till then find ye selves a treasure laiden shark and go to town.