I'll done try ta keep this brief in tha spirit of this eve. But first lets me clear tha air. A few o' ye mateys in this here crew have shared ye words with me and thank ye for tha time ta meet with mae. Ye done said that ye see mae dress'n as I do as an insult. It bae a valid concern and I can sees where ye bae comm'n from. Apparently me mateys ye've not gotten ta know ye captain too well. I bae do'n this ta have fun with me time as I think ye all should as well. I'm not here ta bae condecendin' or mean, just ta bring this here crew some fun. Ye enjoy dress'n dapper, I enjoy me lack o' buttons. If we can all take our selves with a grain o' salt, I done think we could put some petty measures behind us. With that me lads…

On this afternoon thar done been a Chancellor's Liason meetin'. This meet'n done covered quite a bit that has been aroused on campus. First it was done brought to our attention tha sanitary nature o' tha mounts our police have. Chief Younce has assured us this will nay bae a concern of ours anymore. Many mateys done had qualms with tha preachers upon tha yard of bricks wav'n their condemning signs. It is felt by many a lad and lassy that they have a negative impact on tha "everyone welcome here" atmosphere we done try so hard ta foster. Also mateys done pointed out tha signs for tha buildn's all over this great port done bae in an "alphabetical" order. Now I done nay know of this "alphabet" but me done recognize their concern that tha only one out of order bae for Witherspoon where tha African American Culture Center has been put ta tha bottom o' tha list.

We done held an open fee forum on tha eve of tha 11th o' October. Not many a matey done showed up. How ta get students ta care about tha issues of fees, how they bae handled and how tha students will bae affected needs ta have a creative thought put ta it.

I bae tha co-captain o' tha committee for tuition and we needs ta know this now bae on our plates as well. There bae many an intest'n word ta hear on the subject but we done needs ta get all tha messages ta tha mateys at this here university. We done needs ta get tha feedback from tha mateys on the issues at hand.

I may bae a pirate but I've never plundered anythin' followed by zeros. There bae a possible 9 to 12 Billion dollar cut ta tha national student aid funding. On tha 19th o' October bae a national call in day ta tha admiral's o this here state. A magic company will monitor tha lines o' communication ta see how many lads and lasses bae call'n in from tha offices o' student government around tha nation.

I'll done make this simple, every last senator, matey o' me crew, wolf aid MUST come inta tha office and send ye words ta both tha legislatures from ye native port and from tha port we bae in now. Get any mateys ye know ta come along and send words. Ta bae nice words for ye've already been drafted, we done just need physical bodies ta make tha calls.

Mission Mardi Gras has done hit some snags. Most (EVERY) company we've done contacted ta have donate doubloons ta our cause already donated tha doubloons they had in their generous coffers. It looks ta bae about 4 thousand dollars ta put on everything. Mind ye we've had an abundance donated ta our cause already. We bae inquiring ta UAB and IRC ta see if they could help with tha funds. We'll done see.

Tha veto...